Paper instructions:
Here is the link to my paper that is in turnitin.com. If you click on “grademark” it will show you all of the errors. It is crucial that the errors are corrected.
https://www.turnitin.com/dv?s=1&o=374115821&u=1024245343&student_user=1&lang=en_us&session-id=81a7e70e4426610257ab59c82130e6de
I did attach the original paper as well. Also here is
feedback I receieved.
feedback I receieved.
1) research tone – in too many places you are expecting the reader to rely on you as the expert. Instead your tone should be that of a reporter- sharing what the professional sources say. You must always have research backup for any statements you claim as fact.
2) You have a lack of specific research and statistics. you do have some general things stated, but need much more hard facts cited.
3) In many cases your writing/meaning is unclear – thoughts within paragraphs seems disjointed and fail to make a clear meaning.
There are extensive notes about these directly on your draft which I hope will help you see what I am referring to. You need to lift the level of your content significantly for a passing grade on the project.
Well-written, good grammar and mechanics: 13/20 many errors. See specifically within the draft. You will want to have some help with proofreading and rewording some of your sentences.
Well-organized – Flows well, headers and headings, page numbers: 13/20 You do have headings, but in many cases those headings do not accurately describe the content. Your intro needs a lot of work (see notes on draft). Your whole organization needs to be reworked and I have given you some direction with this that I hope will help– at the end of your draft.
Title page, abstract, and reference page are present and of reasonable quality : 8/10 see notes about abstract
In-text references and reference page in correct APA format: 7/10 You do have some in text citation but need much more.
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